ABOUT ME?
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I can't think of anything more boring than me trying to sum up me. It's a no-win situation, guaranteed to make me sound dull and/or dopey. What can I say in two
or three paragraphs that will make you think, "this is the right person for the job?" Everything you need to know is already in my resume. Is this where I should get clever and weave a fascinating tale? Maybe provide a tiny glimpse of the incredible journey that has gotten me here? Let's go with that...
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Okay, this is me. The real me. Not the evil me that diabolically teleported the real me to an alternate dimension, but the real me. Before you ask, "how do I know you are the real you and not the evil you," please keep in mind that the evil me wouldn't have disclosed any of this – It wouldn't serve his wicked purpose. The last thing the evil me would want is you asking questions about his/my identity. You can feel very comfortable knowing this is the real, real me.
I brilliantly, boldly, and modestly escaped the alternate dimension using a series of mathematical formulas, deep meditation, a thingy from Radio Hut (the alternate dimension's version of Radio Shack), and a can of Easy Cheese. Applying the same procedure in reverse, I banished the evil me to another alternate dimension or possibly Texas – not really sure which. So here I am, a hero to myself, and telling you about me. Writer, dimension traveler, champion of good. What else could you want in a collaborator?
Now that I have practically ruined any chance of you hiring me, let's try for some redemption. I'm a professional editor and graphic designer with a marketing background, and over 20 years of experience producing digital and print content. Currently, I'm designing and coordinating online content for Builders FirstSource in Raleigh, North Carolina. I create and manage content from conception to online publication.
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